Amelia Goes to Superhero School
The most important thing for a bike messenger is
a feel for the area to cover.
Maps tell you a lot but they can’t give you details, like
potholes and construction areas, places where a bike can run over stuff.
I had come into town a couple days early to not only pick up the
bike and get settled but to familiarize myself with the city.
After a fairly quiet night with only a couple shots fired, I got up
before dawn and headed out looking for food.
I think every city in the country has either an iHop™ or a Waffle
House™. Not sure if
they believed me when I ordered three of their complete breakfasts but
they believed me when I ate it all. Sated, at least for an hour or so,
adjusting the straps on my backpack, I pushed off heading for downtown
Millennium City.
I kept it at a sedate 45 or so, much faster would have raised
more eyebrows than my ass in spandex but I got to downtown Millennium
City just about morning rush hour, which is perfect.
Gave me a chance to get the feel of traffic.
Every city that I rode in had a different feel, like LA feels
like everybody’s trying to kill bikers but this place didn’t quite have
the same feel. I think they
are just trying to maim. I cruised up and down the lengths of all the
major arteries before branching off to the side streets looking for
shortcuts. Couple of other
messengers breezed by on fixer and I figured I see them in an accident
before the month was out. About an hour in and my stomach started howling,
snarling and begging for food so I pull a steak place and ordered a pair
of 16 ounce New York strips.
I actually don’t care for a strip steak but they are marginally
cheaper than a pair of rib eyes.
The baked potato bar took a huge hit to fill in the corners.
I tipped what I felt I could afford … which was probably a
disappointment but I left the place with a open mouthed staff trying to
figure out where I’d stuffed all that food when I was wearing spandex. I’d had to of course, eat everything at ‘slo’
speed so I didn’t scare the normal. It gave me a chance to look up this
Rocky Grimm and his superhero school. Wasn’t
that far, I was surprised.
I figured it would be out on the edge someplace, not nearly in downtown. I took my time cruising around the area just to
see what was in the neighborhood before ending up in front of a slatted
chain link fence across from a convenience story.
Well, I headed across the street and folded up my bike to lock it
to a light pole. Not too
bad, cable through everything that would come off, then headed for the
back of the place. Convenience stores are good for more than fuel
and a place to lock up a bike, they all have dumpsters.
No, I was not going to climb into a dumpster but a quick look
around and I had on my armor and helmet.
A blink later, I was opening the gate to the superhero school. First, not impressed. Looks a little like a
rundown warehouse in LA, with less graffiti. Even the ‘parking lot’
could have use a couple seconds with a weed whacker. It turned out to be
better on the inside and smelled of fresh paint.
Nice reception desk, without the ubiquitous receptionist filing
blood red nails and chewing gum … nobody around. So, I called the 1 800
CALLNO and got a recording which I didn’t hear in the office I was
standing in. Said I’d get a
callback. Couch was nice, big surprise, I’d expected
‘industrial plastic’ but it was actually leather.
That I appreciated.
No static charge to build up every time I moved. Also appreciated the
lack of cheap carpet for the same reason. So, time to kill … that is NOT easy for me to do.
I read every magazine in the room … four times … no call … Got
up, checked on my bike … had to move just right to see it through those
slats in the fence … but still there … well, that took a whole minute. I began to think they might be testing my
patience, well I’m a speedster but I could be patient … even if it
killed me … nearly did and my stomach was growling, okay, whimpering, by
the time they returned my call.
Fifty-seven minutes later.
I ask you, is this any way to run a school? I think I flustered the hell out of the person on
the other end. They said
they were just the answering service but couldn’t really answer any
questions but they suggested I take an enrollment form from the desk and
fill it out. Then I could
just leave it or come back for some cyber security class on Wednesday.
Decided not to live the form on the desk where anyone could just
waltz in and steal it. But, my stomach chose to roar so I blinked bay
across the street, did the dumpster thing and came out back in my riding
gear. I think a set a store
record when I took their entire stock of tacquitos but it was only
twenty–three and with the Super-duper drink I had to eat sitting on the
sidewalk outside. The guy
did put more tacquitos on and I gave them enough time to get hot before
buying all of them too … with a second Super-duper.
They had no problem with me using their bathroom after that … and
I got my first offer of a date. Guy was not bad, and I didn’t have anything
against him but, I mean come on … he makes like eight bucks an hour,
right, and I just ate fifty bucks in rolled up tacos … he couldn’t
afford me! |
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